Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
Lara Jean is in French class staring out the window when she sees Josh heading for the bleachers with his lunch. She doesn’t know why he’s eating alone, since he has friends. But Lara Jean realizes Josh and his friends didn’t hang out much last year, since Josh was with Margot and Lara Jean so much. If Lara Jean hadn’t developed a crush on him, she could still be his friend. Maybe this is why Mommy told Margot to not have a boyfriend when she went to college. A romantic partner, Lara Jean realizes, is the only person you want to be with—and when you break up, you’re all alone.
In this moment, Lara Jean becomes a bit more mature and introspective. She starts to see Josh as his own person, one who’s hurting, rather than the person who’s turned her life upside down. And though she doesn’t seem totally aware of what she’s realizing, she also starts to see that Margot (perhaps unwittingly) kept Lara Jean and Josh from forming relationships with other people. And this, in turn, is making it harder for both of them to move on, as neither of them has much of a support system other than each other.
Themes
Since Peter has a lacrosse game, Lara Jean takes the bus home from school in the afternoon. As she’s getting the mail, Josh gets home next door. He asks how long the car will be in the shop, teases Lara Jean about not liking to drive, and then offers to give her a ride when she needs it. He says that the two of them riding together would be more environmentally friendly than Peter picking Lara Jean up, anyway.
Josh is making every effort to keep things calm and casual between himself and Lara Jean, showing that he realizes how off-balance she feels after he got her letter. He’s trying to make Lara Jean feel more comfortable and willing to trust him.
Themes
Then, Josh awkwardly says that he wants to say something, but it feels weird. Lara Jean lies that nothing has changed, so they can still talk. Josh asks if Lara Jean has been avoiding him since he and Margot broke up. Lara Jean is shocked—this is about Margot and not her letter? Josh says he doesn’t want to lose Lara Jean too. This annoys Lara Jean, since him saying “too” makes it clear that he doesn’t return her feelings for him. He starts to bring up the letter, but Lara Jean cuts him off. She agrees to ride with him to school tomorrow and tells herself this is a good thing. They can go back to being friends.
In Lara Jean’s mind, everything is all about her—which is perhaps normal for a teenager but isn’t entirely true. This is why she’s so surprised to learn that Josh thinks she’s acting oddly because of his breakup with Margot, rather than because of her letter. To Lara Jean, there’s nothing more important than the letter. (That’s why she’s pretend-dating Peter, after all.) But that’s clearly not what Josh is worried about. When she then lies about how she feels and what she thinks, Lara Jean’s immaturity shines through even more.
Themes
After dinner, Lara Jean teaches Kitty how to do laundry. Kitty ends up liking it—she can fold clothes in front of the TV. Then, the girls get ready for bed together. Kitty asks if Peter might take them to McDonald’s tomorrow morning, but Lara Jean tells Kitty not to get used to Peter. Josh is giving them a ride tomorrow. Kitty asks if Peter will be jealous. Though Lara Jean insists he won’t be, when she texts Peter to say she doesn’t need a ride, she doesn’t tell him she’s riding with Josh.
Kitty is clearly growing up, since she so readily embraces the increased responsibility of doing laundry—and Lara Jean is also successful in her ability to teach her. When Lara Jean wonders seriously if Peter might be jealous, it suggests that on some level, she is beginning to take their relationship seriously—even if it is a sham.
Themes
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