Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
Lara Jean goes back in time to explain how her family met Josh. She, Margot, and Kitty were having a teddy bear tea party on the lawn. It was Lara Jean’s idea, even though she and Margot were too old. She said it was for Kitty, since after Mommy’s death the year before, Margot never said no to Kitty. Lara Jean was pouring tea when Josh climbed up on the fence. A month before this, when Josh’s family moved in, the girls had written Josh off as a potential friend since he’s a boy. But Kitty greeted Josh, asked his name, and invited him to play. Lara Jean didn’t know how important Josh would become to her then, but she’s not sure what she could’ve done differently had she known.
The grief Lara Jean felt after Mommy’s death seemingly made her even less interested in growing up. Rather, she wanted to be able to feel like a little kid again and take comfort in childhood games, like tea parties. The fact that the girls were ultimately able to make friends with Josh after writing him off offers an important lesson: writing people off as potential friends based on factors like sex can rob people of opportunities to form close, meaningful relationships.
Themes
