Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Family, Responsibility, and Growing Up
Love and Fear
Social Structure, Reputation, and High School
Lies vs. Honesty
Summary
Analysis
Daddy likes to cook Korean food on his days off (or he goes to the Korean market and buys ready-made food). He doesn’t want his daughters to lose connection with their Korean side, but food is the only way he knows how to do that. Tonight, Daddy made bo ssam, which is brined pork shoulder wrapped in lettuce. He sets the table with the pretty dishes and texts a picture of the table to Margot. Then, he suggests that Lara Jean invite Josh over; Josh loves Korean food. Lara Jean pretends to text Josh, says he can’t come, and calls for Kitty.
By describing Daddy’s efforts to keep his daughters in touch with their Korean heritage, Lara Jean presents her father as someone who’s trying his best to support his daughters. However, his suggestion to invite Josh shows how little he actually knows about his daughters’ lives—he seems unaware that Josh and Margot are broken up. And Lara Jean lies about texting him without hesitation, again showing how normal lying is for her.
Themes
Daddy continues to ask about Josh coming over, but Lara Jean snips that there’s no reason for him to visit now that he and Margot are broken up. Daddy clearly had no idea they broke up, but Kitty distracts him by racing to the table and serving herself. Lara Jean and Daddy sit down, and Daddy insists they have to pray before they eat. Then, Lara Jean takes a bit of the bo ssam—it’s incredibly salty. Kitty and Lara Jean insist the food is great, but Daddy thinks it’s a bit too salty.
Insisting to Daddy that the too-salty bo ssam is great reads as part of Lara Jean and Kitty’s quest to make things as easy as possible for their father. Eating the meal anyway means that Daddy doesn’t have to find something else for the family to eat. But the inedible meal also shows his inability to complete household tasks like cooking for his daughters.
Themes
Just then, Josh texts Lara Jean and asks if they’re having Korean food—he saw the light on in the living room and he’d like to come over. Josh adores Korean food and always hangs out with Lara Jean’s Korean grandma when she visits. Lara Jean muses that every woman in the family adores Josh; Mommy would’ve loved him, too. Kitty reads Josh’s text aloud and Daddy says Josh should come, but Lara Jean announces that Josh isn’t a part of the family anymore. Kitty says that they can still be friends with Josh, and Daddy agrees—Josh and Margot might still get back together. Near the end of the meal, Josh texts, “never mind.”
Lara Jean has other reasons for not wanting Josh over (her letter and the fact that Josh now knows she has a crush on him) aside from him and Margot being broken up. But the breakup provides a convenient excuse, so Lara Jean’s other problems go unnoticed by her family. Further, attempting to cut Josh out of the family shows how intent Lara Jean is on staying close with her nuclear family and not letting anyone else in.
Themes
All weekend, Lara Jean and Daddy experiment with how to make the bo ssam edible with little success. Kitty points out that this wouldn’t be an issue if they had a dog to eat the meat. After dinner on Sunday, Lara Jean takes a neighbor dog for a walk; she’s pet sitting for the dog’s owners. As she’s walking, Josh jogs up behind her and asks how things are going with Peter. Lara Jean tries to look sad and says they broke up this morning; he’s too into Genevieve to date her. Josh looks confused and says he saw Peter earlier and Peter said nothing of the sort.
Agai, Lara Jean’s lie backfires—she doesn’t seem to consider that Peter might decide to go along with the lie. By roping Peter in, Lara Jean’s lie has gotten too big for her to manage all by herself. But Lara Jean tells this particular lie in the first place because it’s normal for her to assume things about Peter and his relationship with Genevieve.
Themes
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In a shrill voice, Lara Jean asks what Peter said. Josh explains that Peter shared that he really likes Lara Jean, which surprised him because Lara Jean doesn’t seem like Peter’s type. Offended, Lara Jean says she’s not as pretty as Genevieve, but Josh says that Lara Jean is just innocent and likes to stay home. Lara Jean snatches her phone out of her pocket and pretends to take a phone call from Peter as she stalks away from Josh.
This is surprising and offensive for Lara Jean on several levels. She clearly underestimated Peter, as it seems like he’s playing along with her lie. And Josh shows that he has a very distinct idea of the kind of person Lara Jean is—and it’s shocking to him that she might be willing to step outside of her comfort zone.
Themes
