The Full Text of “On Turning Ten”
The Full Text of “On Turning Ten”
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“On Turning Ten” Introduction
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"On Turning Ten" was first published in the American poet Billy Collins's 1995 collection The Art of Drowning. One of the most popular contemporary U.S. poets, Collins is known for his humorous and conversational poems. This poem parodies a long tradition of "birthday poems," in which older poets reflect, often quite depressingly and with quite a bit of self-absorption, on their encroaching mortality. Here, the speaker is a child facing the prospect of turning 10 with horror and dread. Wistfully reminiscing about his life up until this point, the speaker contrasts the imagination and sense of invulnerability of early childhood with the painful loss of innocence that he must face in growing up.
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“On Turning Ten” Summary
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Just thinking about turning 10 makes the speaker feel like he's getting sick. The speaker clarifies that this feeling is more unpleasant than a relatively minor, passing ailment like a stomach ache or a headache. It's as though a contagious illness like measles, mumps, or chicken pox has infected his inner being, disfiguring his very soul.
The speaker realizes that readers might think he's too young to be feeling so nostalgic for the past. But, the speaker argues, they only feel this way because they don't remember their own early childhoods—what it was like to be just one or two years old. The speaker, by contrast, can still remember every single year he has lived so far. He recounts the various fantastical identities he has assumed throughout his childhood up until now: at the age of four he "was an Arabian wizard" with magical powers brought on by the way he drank milk; he was a soldier when he was seven years old and prince when he was nine.
Now, however, the speaker spends most of his time looking out of a window at the waning sunlight. Everything looks different to him now—the light falling gloomily on the tree house he once played in, while his bicycle rests next to the garage in a way it never did before, as if it's had all its speed sucked out of it.
The speaker concludes that sadness has officially entered his life, and that he must continue moving throughout the vast world in his sneakers without the imaginary friends and magical happiness of his youth, that he must accept his fate and finally turn 10.
He reflects that, not so long ago, he thought that he was composed of pure light, and thus that if he were injured he'd simply shine. Now, however, he knows that he is vulnerable to real pain and injury—that if he were to scrape his knees on the sidewalk, he'd draw blood.
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“On Turning Ten” Themes
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Growing Up and the Loss of Innocence
“On Turning Ten” examines the pain, discomfort, and loss of innocence that comes with growing up. The young speaker considers the prospect of turning 10 with discomfort, viewing this “the first big number” as marking an end to the period of youthful bliss he’s enjoyed up until now. Much of the pain of entering adolescence, the poem suggests, is that it forces the speaker to abandon the fantastical, magical world of childhood—and to face the harshness of adult (or, at least, 10-year-old) reality.
The speaker compares the idea of turning 10 to “coming down with something,” adding that this sick feeling is even “worse than any stomach ache” or “headaches.” In other words, this is no momentary ailment, no temporary discomfort, but something much more unpleasant. In fact, the speaker locates this sickness as being in his “psyche,” “spirit,” and “soul.”
The way the speaker views his surroundings reflects his newfound world-weariness: the late afternoon light looks solemn in a way it never has before, and his bike seems utterly exhausted. He thus concludes that turning 10 “is the beginning of sadness,” a moment that marks a sharp break from the idyllic world of his early childhood.
Even worse, the speaker feels forced to abandon the various fantastical identities—"an Arabian wizard,” “a soldier,” “a prince”—that he used to inhabit when he was "seven" or even "nine." The speaker doesn’t treat these childhood identities as pretend. Instead, he talks about them literally, as if he really was all these different figures. Magic isn’t simply something kids believe in, this suggests; the magic of childhood is real to children in a way it can’t be when kids grow up.
As a younger child, the speaker also believed himself to be invulnerable—that if he were injured, light would simply pour out of his body. Now, though, the speaker realizes that “if I fall upon the sidewalks of life, / I skin my knees. I bleed.” Part of the speaker's sadness, then, stems from the realization that he isn't invulnerable or immortal—that he has a human body that's subject to pain, injury, and, ultimately, death. And this loss of innocence, of the comforting belief in magic and safety, the poem suggests, is the fate everyone faces when they leave their childhood behind.
Where this theme appears in the poem:- Lines 1-32
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Memory and Nostalgia
The speaker of “On Turning Ten” paints his childhood as a time of magic and happiness that's soon to be lost (or perhaps that's already been lost) upon the arrival of his adolescence. Of course, this speaker is about to turn 10—and thus remains well within the childhood that he's already looking back on with such longing. The reader understands that there are much worse things in life than turning 10, making the speaker’s point of view seem amusingly melodramatic at first. Such intense nostalgia, the poem suggests, can limit people’s perspectives, leading them to pre-emptively mourn the past without enjoying and appreciating the present.
Note, for example, how the speaker remembers the transition from age one to age two, from “simplicity” and “complexity,” with equal wistfulness, but doesn’t seem to realize that in turning 10 he’s about to undergo another big transition—one he may one day look back on with equal fondness! In looking back on the past, then, the speaker seems to be missing out on the major life moment happening right now.
Note, too, how the speaker resigns himself to the fact that it is “time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,” while still treating them as if they are real—saying good-bye to them, rather than just stopping believing in them altogether. This shows that the speaker is in a kind of in-between space, looking back on a time he is still living in. Nostalgia, here, creates a sense of longing not only for the past but for what will soon become the past.
The speaker rebukes an unidentified “you”—presumably an older person, and perhaps even the reader—for telling him “it is too early to be looking back.” The speaker argues that “you” only think this “because you have forgotten” the beauty of childhood, while the speaker insists they can “remember every digit,” being closer to their earliest years. The speaker argues that he in fact feels the loss of childhood so acutely because he is still in childhood, and thus has less to compare life to.
Thus, while the poem’s humor comes from the fact that this little boy is staking a claim to nostalgia at such a young age, it also sympathizes with his feelings. It ultimately suggests that this tendency to romanticize the past and even to feel nostalgic for the present doesn't have an age requirement.
Where this theme appears in the poem:- Lines 8-32
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Line-by-Line Explanation & Analysis of “On Turning Ten”
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Lines 1-4
The whole idea ...
... in bad light--The speaker opens the poem by telling readers how "it"—that is, turning 10—makes him feel.
The first line uses enjambment to play with readers' expectations, however, not actually revealing how this occasion makes the speaker feel until the next line. There's thus a moment of anticipation at the top of the poem, when one might think that what will follow will be some sort of positive feeling. But in the very next line, the speaker punctures any positivity with the revelation that, upon turning 10, he feels like he's "coming down with something."
This simile kicks off the speaker's melodramatic take on growing up. He treats getting one year older as if it were some kind of disease, one he cannot quite name. The anadiplosis of "something" (which appears at the end of line 2 and then repeats at the start of line 3) reinforces this sense that the speaker lacks the language to properly identify what sickness he's suffering from.
While he cannot say exactly what it is, the speaker can compare this feeling to other ailments he has experienced—stomach aches, or "the headaches I get from reading in bad light." A stomach ache in particular is a classic childhood ailment, which reminds readers that the person lamenting the loss of childhood right now is, indeed, still very much a child!
This a free verse poem, meaning it has no meter or rhyme scheme; it sounds conversational and casual. Despite their straightforward language, however, these lines are packed with consonance and assonance (as is the whole poem). Note, for example, the sharp "/k/" sounds of "makes" and "coming," as well as the round sounds of "coming," "something," "stomach" and "from."
There's also plenty of sibilance here, which might evoke a kind of childish lisp. Take lines 2-3:
[...] something,
something worse than any stomach acheEven though the language of the poem is kept loose and conversational, it still has some subtle music.
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Lines 5-7
a kind of ...
... of the soul. -
Lines 8-12
You tell me ...
... remember every digit. -
Lines 13-16
At four I ...
... nine a prince. -
Lines 17-20
But now I ...
... my tree house, -
Lines 21-23
and my bicycle ...
... out of it. -
Lines 24-27
This is the ...
... first big number. -
Lines 28-32
It seems only ...
... knees. I bleed.
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“On Turning Ten” Symbols
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Light
Light in the poem symbolizes innocence and vitality, and it illustrates the speaker's shifting perspective upon growing up.
This symbolism is clearest in the third stanza, as the speaker watches the "late afternoon light" fall "so solemnly" against his tree house (itself a symbol of the speaker's childhood). The fact that this light is that of the “late afternoon” is significant: from the speaker’s perspective, he's no longer in the early “morning” period of his life but entering the “late afternoon” of adolescence. The light of this more grown-up world is tinged with sorrow and loss, informed by the speaker's dawning awareness of his vulnerability and mortality.
Light continues to act as an important symbol in the last stanza, as the speaker describes how he “used to believe / there was nothing under my skin but light.” This light represents, in part, the wonder and innocence of the speaker's childhood: he believed his body to be filled not with messy blood but something pure and shining.
Where this symbol appears in the poem:- Lines 18-19: “watching the late afternoon light. / Back then it never fell so solemnly”
- Lines 28-30: “I used to believe / there was nothing under my skin but light. / If you cut me I could shine.”
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Childhood Toys
The speaker's unused playthings, specifically his tree house and bicycle, symbolize the fact that the speaker is leaving his childhood behind. Note how the speaker isn't playing with either item in the poem, but rather looking at them from within his house. This speaks to the distance the speaker feels from his childhood. The tree house has, in a sense, become a kind of monument, a memorial to a childhood that the speaker believes is now dead, a home that is no longer his.
The same might be said of the speaker's bicycle, which now leans “against the garage,” unused. While the tree house is cast in the solemn light of maturity, the bike seems to have been robbed its very life force, "all the dark blue speed drained out of it." In this way, the bike also acts as a symbol for the speaker himself: he, too, seems to be drained of his speed, of the essence of his childhood.
Where this symbol appears in the poem:- Lines 19-20: “Back then it never fell so solemnly / against the side of my tree house,”
- Lines 21-23: “and my bicycle never leaned against the garage / as it does today, / all the dark blue speed drained out of it.”
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The Window
The speaker says in the third stanza that he's no longer outside riding his bike or playing pretend like he used to, but instead “mostly at the window,” looking wistfully upon a childhood he feels he can no longer access. The window at which the speaker sits symbolizes his separation from his childhood innocence and the nostalgic lens through which he views his past.
The window acts as a kind of barrier between the speaker and the outside world. In this way, it represents the way that the speaker's nostalgia cuts him off from the present: he contemplates the loss of his childhood rather than going out and experiencing it while he still can.
Where this symbol appears in the poem:- Line 17: “But now I am mostly at the window”
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“On Turning Ten” Poetic Devices & Figurative Language
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Alliteration
"On Turning Ten" uses lots of alliteration, which adds emphasis to certain words and generally fills the poem with rhythm and music. Take the opening stanza, where /s/ sounds connect "spirit," "psyche," and "soul"—and, in doing so, draw attention to the deep, internal distress the speaker feels upon getting older.
Another interesting example of alliteration appears at the beginning of the third stanza, with the tight repetition of /w/ and /l/ sounds:
[...] mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon lightThese sounds are relatively soft, evoking a quiet, still atmosphere as the speaker languishes by the window. The sibilance of the following two lines adds to the effect:
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,The lines themselves seem hushed and solemn thanks to those quiet /s/ sounds (which also appear within the words "against" and "house").
In making the poem's language more musical and striking, this alliteration also adds to the poem's playful irony. The speaker is talking quite eloquently and dramatically about his sorrow, yet that sorrow is about something very minor in the grand scheme of things: turning 10 years old.
Where alliteration appears in the poem:- Line 2: “something”
- Line 3: “something,” “stomach”
- Line 5: “measles,” “spirit”
- Line 6: “mumps,” “psyche”
- Line 7: “soul”
- Line 8: “be,” “back”
- Line 9: “but,” “because”
- Line 10: “being”
- Line 11: “beautiful”
- Line 12: “But,” “bed”
- Line 14: “make myself”
- Line 15: “certain”
- Line 16: “seven,” “soldier”
- Lines 17-18: “window / watching”
- Line 18: “late,” “light”
- Line 19: “so solemnly”
- Line 20: “side”
- Line 24: “sadness,” “say”
- Line 26: “time to,” “to”
- Line 27: “time,” “ to ,” “turn”
- Line 30: “cut,” “could”
- Line 31: “sidewalks”
- Line 32: “skin”
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Anaphora
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Assonance
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Consonance
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Simile
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Enjambment
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Irony
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Metaphor
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Personification
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Repetition
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"On Turning Ten" Vocabulary
Select any word below to get its definition in the context of the poem. The words are listed in the order in which they appear in the poem.
- Measles
- Mumps
- Psyche
- Chicken pox
- Solemnly
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(Location in poem: Line 5: “a kind of measles of the spirit,”)
An infectious disease accompanied by a blotchy rash.
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Form, Meter, & Rhyme Scheme of “On Turning Ten”
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Form
The poem has 32 lines broken up into five stanzas, which range from four to nine lines apiece. The last two stanzas (starting with "This is the beginning of sadness") are noticeably shorter than the first three. This helps to give the last nine lines of the poem (which are more somber and serious than everything that's come before) more space to resonate with the reader.
Beyond that, "On Turning Ten" has no fixed poetic form or structure, and is written, like most of Collins's poetry, in free verse. This makes the poem feel intimate and conversational throughout.
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Meter
"On Turning Ten" is written in free verse, meaning it doesn't stick to a set meter. This adds to the casual, conversational style of the poem. Readers get the sense that the speaker is talking to them directly. There's nothing overly formal or complicated here: just a simple, natural rhythm that fits right with the fact that the poem's speaker is still a child.
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Rhyme Scheme
As a free verse poem, "On Turning Ten" doesn't have a regular rhyme scheme. As with the lack of meter, this keeps the poem feeling conversational. Without rhyme, the poem sounds like normal speech, as if the speaker is talking directly to the reader.
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“On Turning Ten” Speaker
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The speaker is a child who has either just turned or is about to turn 10 years old. The poem never explicitly states that the speaker is a boy, though this is implied by the fact that the speaker imagines being a "wizard," "a soldier," and "a prince."
That said, readers certainly don't have to interpret the speaker this way in order to understand and identify with the poem. What really matters here is how young the speaker is: he's still a child even while lamenting the loss of his childhood. That's what gives the poem its irony and humor. At the same time, there's some genuine sadness here: because the speaker is so young, it's understandable that every year feels weightier to him. He may just be turning 10, but even a single year represents a big chunk of his young life!
Adults reading the poem can see how limited the speaker's perspective is. That is, grown-up readers understand that the speaker is being more than a little melodramatic (even if his pain is very real). Perhaps seeing how naive this young child sounds, readers might reconsider their own thoughts about aging as well—and conclude that they're not quite as washed up as they tend to think, either!
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“On Turning Ten” Setting
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"On Turning Ten" takes place late in the afternoon on a day sometime around the speaker's tenth birthday (likely on the day itself). This entry into double-digits marks a momentous occasion in the speaker's young life.
Location-wise, readers can think of the poem as being set in the speaker's childhood home: the speaker contemplates growing up while gazing out a window at his tree house (presumably in his backyard) and at his bicycle as it leans next to the garage.
These details—the tree house, the bicycle, and even the "sidewalks of life"—all remind readers that the speaker is still very young. They're details linked to childhood, and they suggest that, to the speaker, his house and neighborhood are the entirety of the "universe" through which he walks. Despite feeling so world-weary, he hasn't actually seen much of the world yet.
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Literary and Historical Context of “On Turning Ten”
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Literary Context
"On Turning Ten" was first published in Billy Collins's 1995 collection The Art of Drowning. The poem exemplifies Collins's use of humor and clear, accessible language in his poetry.
The title "On Turning Ten" also places this poem within a long tradition of poetry written "on" (that is, about) a momentous occasion—particularly one's birthday (see Lord Byron's “On This Day I Complete My Thirty-Sixth Year”). Collins actually wrote "On Turning Ten" in order to poke fun at what he calls the "midlife crisis poem [...] poems that are written on a poet's birthday, particularly when that birthday ends in zero" and which tend to be rather "depressing."
The poem is thus both a parody, in that it mimics the form of these "birthday poems," and a satire of the self-indulgent poets who write them. But Collins also said that the poem "nicely [...] got away from me," surpassing his original jokey intentions. Indeed, the poem has genuine sadness and pathos as its end, as its young speaker becomes aware of the inevitable pain that growing up will bring.
Historical Context
"On Turning Ten" deliberately makes little reference to any historical circumstances surrounding it. That said, the main features of the speaker's childhood—the bicycle, the glass of milk, the tree house, the sneakers, and the various imaginary friends—evoke a fairly typical suburban childhood in the U.S. in the second half of the 20th century.
Collins himself was born in 1941, meaning that the illnesses referenced in the first stanza—measles, mumps, and chicken pox—were more common during his own childhood than they are today. This is mainly thanks to vaccination: the chicken pox vaccine came into use in the U.S. in 1995, the same year this poem was first published; measles was declared eliminated from the U.S. in 2000; and mumps has also drastically decreased in recent years. There are still occasional outbreaks, but these diseases are a much less common feature of the lives of young people today.
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More “On Turning Ten” Resources
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External Resources
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An Interview with Collins — Read this 2007 interview with Billy Collins, originally published in Guernica Magazine, where he discusses his poetic style and influences.
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Billy Collins's Biography — A detailed biography of Collins's life and career as a poet.
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A Reading of "On Turning Ten" — Hear Billy Collins read and talk about"On Turning Ten" at the 2009 National Writing Project Annual Meeting.
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LitCharts on Other Poems by Billy Collins
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