Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in How to Win Friends and Influence People, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Self-Interest vs. Selflessness
Importance and Humility
Positivity vs. Negativity
Sincerity and Appreciation vs. Insincerity and Flattery
Summary
Analysis
Whenever Teddy Roosevelt was expecting guests, he always read up on their favorite subjects the night before, because he knew that the best way to a person’s heart is to talk about the things that interest them. For example, Edward L. Chalif, who is active with the Boy Scouts, wanted the president of one of the largest corporations in the U.S. to pay for a trip for his troop. Chalif heard before visiting the president that he had written a check for a million dollars, and when it was canceled, he had it framed. Chalif opened their discussion by asking interestedly about the check—and when they got around to discussing the Boy Scouts, the man gave Chalif all that he asked for and much more.
These examples reinforce the idea that it’s better to be interested in others than to get others interested in yourself. Because Roosevelt and Chalif focused on what others liked (studying the guests’ favorite subjects or discussing the million-dollar check), they were more able to make friends—and, as a result, to get what they wanted out of other people.
Themes
In another example, Mr. Duvernoy was trying to sell bread to a certain New York hotel, and he called on the manager every week for four years. Then he changed tactics, finding out that the man belonged to the Hotel Greeters of America, a society of hotel executives. Duvernoy asked about the Greeters without mentioning bread at all, and the man excitedly talked about the organization for hours. The next day, the manager bought Duvernoy’s bread.
The example with Mr. Duvernoy illustrates the benefit of prioritizing others in business. Rather than discussing his bread, Duvernoy opened with what the hotel manager was interested in. And as a result of taking the time to talk about the manager’s interests, he was able to sell his bread as well.
Themes
Edward Harriman struggled to find a job after his military service, and he found that the companies in the area were largely owned by a business maverick, R. J. Funkhouser. Mr. Harriman not only got to know Funkhouser’s interests—largely making money—but also his secretary’s interests and goals, so that he could convince her to set up a meeting between them. At the meeting, Harriman told Funkhouser that he believed he could make money for Funkhouser and told him about his ideas. Funkhouser hired him at once. This illustrates how talking in terms of the other person’s interests pays off for both people.
Harriman takes Carnegie’s advice one step further—becoming familiar not only with Funkhouser’s interests but also with his secretary’s. And again, Carnegie demonstrates how this selflessness and willingness to consider other people’s interests benefited Harrington as well. This illustrates how people who act selflessly also tend to help themselves in the process.
Themes
