How to Win Friends and Influence People

by

Dale Carnegie

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How to Win Friends and Influence People: Part 4, Chapter 9 Summary & Analysis

Summary
Analysis
In 1915, Woodrow Wilson tried to bring peace to Europe. William Jennings Bryan, the secretary of state, wanted to go to Europe to counsel with its leaders, but Wilson chose another man instead: Colonel House. Bryan was disappointed, but House assured him that Bryan was too important for the task and would attract too much attention, which satisfied Bryan. The lesson one can gather from this is to make the other person happy about doing the things you suggest.
This chapter returns to one of Carnegie’s first principles: the best way to influence other people is to make them want to do what you suggest. This requires seeing things from other people’s perspectives and thinking more selflessly, as House did here in stating that Bryan was too important to go to Europe.
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Wilson didn’t always follow that policy, unfortunately. He didn’t make the Republican Party happy by entering the United States into the League of Nations. He also refused to take prominent Republican leaders to the peace conference with him, instead taking unknown men from his own party. As a result of this crude handling of human relations, he wrecked his own career, caused the U.S. to stay out of the League, and altered world history.
Here, Carnegie illustrates the problems when people do not follow this strategy. Because Wilson angered the Republican Party and made them not want to join the League of Nations, he likely changed the course of history. The League lost a key country, which may have contributed to its dissolution and failure to prevent World War II.
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This is important even for people who are not diplomats: Dale Ferrier encouraged his son to willingly do the chore he was assigned—picking up pears from under the pear tree—by offering to pay him a dollar for every bushel of pears he picked up. But Ferrier would also take away a dollar for every pear left in the yard. His son then picked up all of the pears eagerly.
As in the other examples in the chapter, Ferrier thought about what his son might want—and in offering a reward for the work, his son got what he wanted (the money) and Ferrier got what he wanted (for the yard to be clear of pears). This returns to the idea that empathizing with others’ perspectives benefits both parties in an agreement.
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Gunter Schmidt, who ran a food store, talked about one of his employees who was negligent about putting the proper price tags on shelves, which caused confusion. After failed attempts to remind and scold her, he appointed her the Supervisor of Price Tag Posting for the entire store. This new responsibility changed her attitude, and she fulfilled her duties well from then on.
This example supports Carnegie’s idea that it’s important to make the other person happy about doing what you want, and it also returns to the idea that making others feel important is crucial when trying to influence them. Schmidt understood this idea, because giving his employee a new title to make her excited about her responsibilities helped her do the work well.
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Giving titles and authority is effective: it worked for Napoleon, who called his troops the “Grand Army,” and for Ernest Gent, who kept a group of boys from running across her lawn by appointing one of them her “detective” and putting him in charge of keeping all trespassers off her lawn.
These examples again show how making others feel important can be an effective way to improve morale and make others feel important—and in doing so, influence people to do what you want.
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When changing attitudes are behavior, these principles are essential: be sincere; concentrate on the benefits to the other person; know what you want the other person to do; be empathetic; and put your request in a form that shows what the person will gain out of doing it. You may not always get a favorable reaction from people, but you are more likely to change attitudes and behaviors this way—and that is your benefit.
Here, Carnegie gives a short summary of many of the principles in his book. He emphasizes the value of focusing on what the other person wants rather than what you want; being humble and positive; making the other person feel important; and appreciating them sincerely. Doing so will not only benefit them—it will also benefit you.
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Sincerity and Appreciation vs. Insincerity and Flattery Theme Icon