Themes
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in How to Win Friends and Influence People, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Self-Interest vs. Selflessness
Importance and Humility
Positivity vs. Negativity
Sincerity and Appreciation vs. Insincerity and Flattery
Summary
Analysis
When a good worker suddenly starts slipping, it’s important not to berate or threaten them. Instead, as Henry Henke did with one of his workers, it’s important to point out the person’s good reputation and indicate that their work hasn’t quite been up to the same standard. Most of the time, people don’t realize that their work has been slipping and are eager to live up to their former reputation.
Georgette Leblanc discusses the transformation of a servant girl named Marie, who worked in a hotel in Belgium. She was cross-eyed, bandy-legged, and very poor, but one day Leblanc complimented her and told her that she had great potential. This comment transformed Marie, and she started taking better care of her face and body. Soon after, she announced her coming marriage to the chef’s nephew—all because Leblanc gave her a reputation to live up to.
Marie’s example suggests that people don’t even need a former reputation to live up to. Simply stating that she had potential (i.e., that she was capable of being important) made Marie realize that she could live up to that potential and prompted her to do so. As in the examples in the previous chapter, this encouragement changed her life.
Themes
A dentist in Ireland named Martin Fitzhugh was shocked when a patient pointed out that the metal cupholder on her chair was not very clean. As a result, Fitzhugh wrote to his cleaning woman, Bridgit, thanking her for her great work and telling her that she could work an extra half hour to clean things that needed less frequent attention like the cupholders. The next day he came in and found the place had been polished to perfection.
Rather than criticizing Bridgit, Fitzhugh’s praise and his commendation of her normally great work prompted her to want to do even better work for him in cleaning the cupholders. This also ties back to the idea that it’s better to call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly, because that way they won’t feel as bad and won’t become resentful.
Themes
A fourth-grade teacher discovered that she had a bad student in her class at the beginning of the year. He was mischievous and caused discipline problems in the class—but he learned rapidly. The first day of class, she told him that she heard he was a natural leader and depended on him to make this the best fourth grade class that year. With that reputation, he couldn’t let her down—and he didn’t.
This teacher effectively shaped her student’s behavior by playing on his desire to be important and virtuous. This example underscores how vital a feeling of importance is, and how those who stay humble and make others feel valuable have an advantage in negotiating with others.
Themes
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