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Part 4, Chapter 3
Themes
and Colors
Key
LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in How to Win Friends and Influence People, which you can use to track the themes throughout the work.
Self-Interest vs. Selflessness
Importance and Humility
Positivity vs. Negativity
Sincerity and Appreciation vs. Insincerity and Flattery
Summary
Analysis
Carnegie once dined with Ida Tarbell, the famous biographer. She told Carnegie that she was writing a book on Owen D. Young, who only ever gave suggestions, not orders. He would say “What do you think of this?” instead of “Do this or do that.” This makes it easy for a person to correct errors, as it leaves their pride intact and makes them feel important. It encourages cooperation instead of rebellion.
In this chapter, Carnegie focuses on how leaders should ask questions and make requests rather than simply giving orders. Doing so is not only a humbler way to approach delegation (thus making the other person feel more important), but it also makes people feel like they have some autonomy in solving the problem.
Active
Themes
Dan Santarelli, a teacher at a vocational school in Wyoming, told Carnegie’s class how a student once blocked the entryway to the school with their car. An instructor yelled at the student, demanding that they move immediately before the instructor dragged the car away himself. The student resented the instructor’s action, and the other students gave him a hard time from then on. If the instructor had instead suggested that the person move the car so that other cars could get in and out, there would have been no issue.
In this example, Carnegie illustrates how making a suggestion or asking a question would have been better ways to handle the situation. Because the instructor was so negative and harsh, he incurred resentment and created additional conflict between himself and the students—all of which could have been avoided if he’d been more positive from the start.
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Ian Macdonald was the general manager of a manufacturing plant, and he had an offer to accept a large order, but he knew that he would likely not meet the promised delivery date. Instead of rushing his workers, he called them together and asked if they could make it possible to produce the order on time—additionally asking for their input to make it happen. As a result, they approached it with a “can do” attitude, and the order was produced on time.
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